I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
