You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
