After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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