Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
