Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
