im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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