every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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