Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
