He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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