You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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