you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
