Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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