we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
