are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
