Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
