I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
