How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just forgot I was standing up.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
