after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
