I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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