Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
