I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
