Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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