reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize