Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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