Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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