The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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