i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
