He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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