1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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