it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
