I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
