idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
