Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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