I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
