We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
