he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
