I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize