That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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