I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
