you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
