You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We don't watch enough power rangers
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
