they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
