She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize