we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize