honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
