I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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