i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
