Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
