If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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