i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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