shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
