why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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