Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i now understand why vodka
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
