im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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