I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
