it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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