can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
