I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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