ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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