fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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