So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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