Sorry, I don't speak sober.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
