Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
