She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
