hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
