no you cant smoke seaweed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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