Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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